“Both the man and his wife were naked, yet felt no shame.” Genesis 2:25
Trust. How often do we overlook this characteristic necessary for every relationship? I firmly believe that TRUST is the bedrock of every marriage relationship, as well as any relationship we are involved in.
In Genesis 2:25, this is a focus on the first marriage, the first relationship established by God. This speaks to the physical oneness; however, it also speaks to the transparency displayed by the husband and wife. They displayed trust to one another and felt no shame, they were willing to be transparent and honest with one another.
Kerry and I have spent time in the past several weeks dissecting this quality of a relationship we call TRUST. We would like to share with you 4 Primary Conditions of Trust that we have discovered that will not only grow a marriage, but the foundation of transparency will also flourish in that marriage.
- Honesty: “Are you willing to have the difficult conversations?” Some of us lie to protect someone’s feelings, out of guilt, to avoid a conflict, or to prevent others from seeing the real you. However, most of us lie because we are worried about what will happen if we tell the truth. You are not doing anyone any favor by allowing their emotional reaction to prevent you from being honest. Stop, have that difficult conversation now. That shows respect and care towards your marriage.
- Integrity: “What do you stand for?” “What is your moral code?” If you want to be a person of Integrity, you must stand for something. Choose your moral code carefully, as your decisions will flow out of those principles. If you are a person of Integrity, those you have a relationship with will know that you will honor your commitments. This is a huge step toward building TRUST in your marriage.
- Reliability: “In that relationship, when they need you, are you there?” You see, reliability is the dependable, consistent, and steadfast application of principles such as honesty and integrity over the long haul and in all types of situations. Basically, I’m asking if you have each other’s back. Think of it this way…If you value your marriage relationship, then be that spouse who is reliable, honest and a person of integrity.
- Vulnerability: “Am I allowing my friend, my spouse to get close and do I believe that they will be there when I need them most?” “Am I transparent to them?” Let’s be clear, this is the hardest of the four conditions of TRUST. Choosing to be vulnerable is risky…you can and often do get hurt. However, vulnerability is a step towards that friend, that spouse. It will provide an opportunity for them to make the choice to be there for you when you need them most. They will love you and see you for who you are, not what they perceive.
Let’s stop and ask ourselves which one of these conditions of TRUST that we have shared are the most difficult for you to practice? As you examine your heart, remember this truth: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not relay on your own understanding; in all your ways know Him, and He will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5,6 CSB
It’s not about us. Building TRUST begins and ends with our TRUST in Christ first. Allow His Spirit to speak to you today.
Joe & Kerry