There is nothing more annoying than a selfish spouse; one who always thinks of himself or herself. Selflessness, placing your wants and needs last, is the prerequisite towards a happy, healthy marriage as you both grow closer as one. Think of it this way, marriage is the union of two who are committed to outdo each other in acts of love. Or better yet, use Christ’s example that Paul writes about in Philippians chapter 2.
Let us share 3 basic principles to follow so as to understand why “selfishness” has no place in marriage.
1. Your Spouse is NOT Your Clone
-Your spouse has different needs and preferences than you. Your spouse’s opinions and feelings are also different than yours. Take time to embrace the differences in your spouse and allow those differences to see them as to how God created them. Be a student of your spouse! You have heard the old adage, “Opposites attract.” Well, that is true. Remember, your spouse has different needs, preferences, opinions and feelings. Again, embrace that which God has given you in your spouse.
2. Consider the Needs of Your Spouse
-Take time to listen, yes, truly listen to what your spouse is saying. again, become a “student” of your spouse. Watch and learn from their words and actions. Don’t sit back and wait for them to fully and completely communicate to your satisfaction…instead, stop and listen-stop and observe-stop and consider their needs first. Consult and consider your spouse when you’re deciding what to buy, where to buy and what color; what and where to eat; what to cook, where to live etc.
3. Serving Your Spouse in a Form of Worship to God
-Remember this, God has ordained you and your spouse to become one: in flesh, spirit, and mind. When you serve your spouse, it is a form of worship to Him who gave you this precious gift you call your spouse. It is showing that you think of them higher than you do yourself. Dictatorship, domineering and self-serving decisions have no place in marriage.