We have been sharing some date night ideas these past Wednesdays for couples to try and hopefully spur on more moments of communication and intimacy between a husband and wife. Just this past week I was asked if there were any reminders that we could share about “Date Nights” or even possibly guidelines to remember. That was an interesting request. Our date nights are a habit of our relationship. In time we have cultivated those moments without even thinking about how we do it, we just do. However, this is because we have been practicing these times, these moments, together for years. There are weeks that it ebbs and tides; however, we still maintain the goal of dating each other on at least a monthly basis.
So to answer his question, we both agree that your dates need to have both shared activities of fun and playfulness as well as times of meaningful conversation; both on a consistent basis. Some dates will be heavier on play while other times the conversations will take a deep and needed path of discovery into each other’s hearts. But on a whole, if you and your spouse are to feel you’ve made a fulfilling, intimate connection on your dat nights, then both of these need to be kept in balance.
Let us sum it up in 5 simple reminders.
1. Don’t Administrate Your Marriage
Don’t talk about finances, household responsibilities, child discipline issues, or other Admin aspects of your marriage while on your date. The purpose of a date is to have fun and enjoy each other.
2. Stay Current
Be curious about your spouse. Ask questions. Update your knowledge and deepen your understanding of each other.
3. Try New and Exciting Activities
Couples who engage in unique activities that they don’t usually do experience an increase in marital satisfaction. New activities stimulate the same parts of the brain that were ignited when you were first dating and help re-create the chemical surges of early courtship.
Talking about special moments or memorable events allows you to celebrate how far you’ve come as a couple and renews hope as you anticipate future good times together.
5. Select Dating Activities that Communicate Intimacy to Both of You
Something to remember and not forget: For men, intimacy is built on a shared activity and for women, a shared activity is a backdrop to deep conversation.
In closing, it’s important that you each take turns in planning your date nights together. Be intentional and never forget, you are investing into your marriage and this investment will return deep dividends!